Category Archives: taboo

On Rape Jokes, Part 2

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I wrote a post about rape jokes back in November and it’s already become one of my most popular posts. I don’t know if my blog got an increase of traffic because people were looking for commentary on rape jokes, or a list of hilarious rape jokes to tell their friends, but I’ll pretend it’s the former for my own peace of mind.

Early this morning, I got a comment from someone with the handle Laptopkerouac, and though I thought about responding directly in the comments section, I realized I had too much to say on the subject to limit it to the comments section. There are a couple of misconceptions here that I want to clear up.

“What irks about feminists railing against rape jokes, is that they rarely show any sign of perspective about other sensitive topics that are sometimes the subject of jokes. Rape is a subject that is of particular significance to them, and so they argue that rape is the one subject that has no place in humor.

When i was discussing the movie “Twilight: New Moon” with some of my friends i brought up the scene after Edward leaves Bella, when Bella spends what looks like months gazing off into the distance with a “thousand-yard stare” and waking up her father in the middle of the night with shrieking night terrors, like she’s having f***ing Vietnam flashbacks. When I used that metaphor with my friends one of them could have pointed out that PTSD is a serious issue that doesn’t need to be trivialized in reference to some movie that i just didn’t like, but no one did because that wasn’t the point of the joke.

The truth is that comedy sometimes has to deal with serious subjects, not to trivialize them but to create hyperbole and give the audience an emotional reference point. Using this kind of subject matter is made difficult though because people always seem to think that they have the one exception to that rule. Everyone thinks that their one “thing” whether it’s rape, mental or physical illness, war, religion, or whatever is the one subject that’s simply too important to be made light of. It’s an understandable human impulse but its one we need to recognize in ourselves and fight because it’s selfish and hypocritical. Like the idea of “I like jokes, just when they’re on someone else”, the argument that topics can be discussed humorously as long as they’re not the ones that I care about is just childish and should be done away with.”

First of all, this comment is much less belligerent than a lot of troll droppings I’ve gotten, but I’m categorizing it as a troll dropping anyway, because there’s no sign of this person wanting to have a good faith discussion with me about the issue. This is just a three-paragraph lecture ‘splaining to me why I’m wrong.

Now let me point out the flaws in this argument.

1. When someone opens an argument with “what irks about feminists railing against rape jokes,” I know we’re already off to a bad start. The word “railing” plays into the “hysterical feminist” stereotype, and on top of that, the commenter is implying that I speak for all feminists, which I never claimed to do. My initial post was not the Official Feminist Viewpoint. It was my personal viewpoint.

2. “They argue that rape is the one subject that has no place in humor.” Logical fallacy alert! I blogged about rape jokes, ergo, I think rape is the only topic that has no place in humor. By that logic, if I blog about cannolis, it must mean that I don’t like cheesecake.

3. Re: the Bella/Edward PTSD joke. Well, that joke does trivialize PTSD. That may not have been the point of the joke, but that’s still what the joke does. “Intent” and “effect” are not the same thing.

Personally, I don’t have a problem with the joke because I read and watched Twilight, and Bella Swan is self-involved and overdramatic enough that she probably WOULD compare her breakup problems to a soldier suffering from PTSD (if she knew what that was). But my liking the joke doesn’t make the joke magically problem-free.

4. “Comedy has to deal with serious subjects.” Aaaaand now it’s time for Comedy 101 splainy-time, as though I don’t know the purpose of comedy. Yes, humor can be a great way to make connections with people and shine light on a serious subject. But I’ve seen far, far too many rape jokes where the punchline is nothing more sophisticated than, “And then she got raped! LOL!” Or, if the joke is about a male victim, “And then he got prison raped and now he’s a fag! LOL!”

Those aren’t nuanced jokes with a higher purpose, or that create an emotional reference point with an audience. That’s just laughing at rape victims. If you (the royal you) want to laugh at rape victims to prove some sort of point about “equal opportunity comedy,” hey, be my guest. You’re well within your rights to say whatever you want about anyone. Just don’t be surprised when other people think you’re an insensitive turd.

I have seen and heard jokes about rape that are more nuanced than a “LOL RAPE!” punchline, but as I discussed those at some length in my original post, I don’t feel the need to reiterate that point here.

5. “Using this kind of subject matter is made difficult though because people always seem to think that they have the one exception to that rule. Everyone thinks that their one ‘thing’ whether it’s rape, mental or physical illness, war, religion, or whatever is the one subject that’s simply too important to be made light of. It’s an understandable human impulse but its one we need to recognize in ourselves and fight because it’s selfish and hypocritical.”

Selfish and hypocritical. Okay. Let me process that for a minute.

People who make or defend rape jokes usually fall on the “everything should be a topic for comedy” argument. They claim that everything and everyone should be laughed at without exception. So they tell a rape  joke, and when someone doesn’t laugh, or speaks up and says, “I don’t think that’s funny. That’s insensitive,” the joke-teller will ‘splain to the objector that s/he has no sense of humor, is too sensitive, everything should be a topic for comedy, and why can’t you just take a joke?

In other words – it’s completely unacceptable and an imposition on free speech rights to tell people what they should or should not joke about, but it’s completely acceptable to tell people what they should and should not laugh about.

“You can’t tell me what to say, but I can tell you how to feel.”

As Bart Simpson would say, “The ironing is delicious.”

I haven’t even gotten into the reasons why rape jokes can be particularly damaging, but if you (the royal you) are interested in reading more, check this out.

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On Joking About Race Without Being Racist

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My “white girl talkin’ about racism” tag has had plenty of use in 2012, and it’s still only January. Between 2 Broke Girls and “Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls,” I’m running into a lot of commentary and outrage about how white people should totally be allowed to make fun of people of color, and telling people that they’re making racist jokes is censorship. I’ve also been accused of playing the role of White Savior and treating people of color with kid gloves.

First of all, it’s not censorship. This is censorship. It’s been defeated for now, but we should all keep following news updates for when Congress eventually tries to put through a different version of the bill. CONSTANT VIGILANCE! – as Mad-Eye Moody would say.

Secondly, I don’t talk about racism and stereotypes because I think black people need a White Savior to rescue them from the perils of racism. As a white person, I’m never going to understand racism the same way a person of color would, much like a man is not going to understand institutionalized sexism the same way a woman would, the way an able-bodied person will never understand what it’s like to have to use a wheelchair (and so on, and so on, and so on). I add my voice to the mix on the issue of racism because I believe that it’s important to be an ally, and every little bit helps.

Thirdly, there’s the issue of “kid gloves” and giving people of color “special treatment” in terms of comedy.

I think that making racist jokes that rely on stereotypes is morally questionable, not to mention creatively bankrupt. When people whine about not being able to make fun of certain groups of people, I wonder, “Why do you want to?”

BUT – and this is an important difference – I do think all individuals – every single person in the world, living or dead – is fair game for comedy.

I also think there’s an important difference between racist humor and racial-based humor. The first kind reinforces stereotypes, while the second lampoons and criticizes stereotypes while also being funny.

I have a lot of praise for Community and one of the reasons I love the show is because it has several characters of color who are just as well-developed and funny as the white characters, but the first show that really made me start thinking about race and its role in comedy was Scrubs.

Continue reading →

On Rape Jokes

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[Massive trigger warning for this entire post.]

If you look at my About page, you’ll see the mission statement for this blog: “The Funny Feminist is a way for me to explore my two opposing life philosophies: that everyone should be more sensitive to others, and everyone should lighten up and not take life seriously all of the time.”

Nowhere do these two life philosophies contradict each other more sharply than on the subject of rape jokes. Not that I think people should “lighten up” when it comes to rape jokes, and I would never tell another survivor that s/he was being “too sensitive,” but I wondered if there was a way to joke about it in a sensitive manner.

I didn’t want to write about rape jokes because it’s a very triggering subject and I’m still processing how I feel about the subject, but an article entitled “Female Comedians, Breaking the Taste-Taboo Ceiling” appeared in yesterday’s issue of The New York Times, and
I simply couldn’t keep mum on the subject anymore. I have to write about it even though my opinion is still not fully formed.

The article, written by Jason Zinoman, talks about how female comedians are breaking taboos and joking about things that used to be considered “off-topic” for women. Now, they’re joking about the same subjects that men joke about.

I like that taboo-breaking in theory. In practice, my feelings on the subject are very mixed, especially when you look at the subjects that women are choosing to joke about.

Anyway, this article gives me a perfect opportunity to talk through my feelings about rape jokes. Continue reading →

Comedy and Humanity in “The Book of Mormon”

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I recently wrote about Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s commitment to equal opportunity comedy that they display in South Park. Now I feel compelled to talk about The Book of Mormon. I saw the show in April and it has already become one of my all-time favorite musicals. I know the entire score backwards and forwards and feel incredibly lucky to have seen the show with its original cast in the early part of its run, especially since I would probably have to sell a kidney and a first-born child if I wanted to see it again.

When I went into The Book of Mormon, I expected an irreverent musical. I had seen the “All About Mormons” episode of South Park and anticipated a longer version of that. I expected clever jokes about religion and worship with a Stan Marsh/Kyle Brofloski-like “But you know, we learned something today” message at the end.

What I didn’t expect was the level of humanity and respect the show had for its characters. Continue reading →

NYC Theatre Review: “Adam of the Apes: A Farcical Fusion of Evolution and Creationism!”

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During the summer, I volunteer at a summer camp for children with disabilities.  I serve as part of the Activities staff, a group that arranges activities and performances for the campers.  We meet several times a year to discuss themes for activities, and sometimes we get a bit silly.  If someone comes up with an idea that seems hilarious to us, but we know would not translate well to anyone who didn’t understand the inside joke, we describe the idea with four simple words: “High concept, low payoff.”

On Saturday night, I saw a production of Adam of the Apes: A Farcical Fusion of Evolution and Creationism! at Haberdasher Theatre Inc. (website here), and I was strongly reminded of our camp catchphrase: “High concept, low payoff.”  Written by New York City playwright Oliver Thrun and directed by Joshua M. Feder, Adam of the Apes has a fascinating premise.  It desperately wants to be an irreverent, edgy play, but it falls just short of “edgy” and lands uncomfortably in the land of “predictable.” Continue reading →

Trey Parker and Matt Stone: What Equal Opportunity Offenders SHOULD Be

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Earlier this week, I explained why I have nothing but contempt for people who use the “equal opportunity offender” defense when they make jokes that are hurtful or reinforce the status quo.  I have even less respect for people who use that defense and try to apologize simultaneously, because in my mind, an “I’m sorry if you were offended” non-apology is even more gutless than no apology at all.  As said eloquently in this post, “No comedy is really equal-opportunity.  Why?  Because our society is not equal-opportunity.  We are not all the same.”

I agree with this…for the most part.  Because despite my firm belief that people who honestly believe that we live in an equal opportunity society have their heads up their asses and have no concept of the idea of “privilege,” I have an enormous amount of respect for two of the biggest and most vocal equal opportunity offenders of all: Trey Parker and Matt Stone, creators of South Park and The Book of Mormon.

There are a few reasons for this.  Right now I’m going to focus on why I love their humor from South Park, because I have a much longer post extolling the virtues of The Book of Mormon that will appear sometime next week. Continue reading →

“I’m an Equal Opportunity Offender!” and the Elementary School Mentality

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So Tracy Morgan is in a heap load of trouble for his homophobic “joke” during his stand-up routine.  In case you haven’t heard, Tracy Morgan “joked” that people who complain about gay bullying are just whining, and if his son whined about gay bullying, he would kill said son.  See, that’s so funny because it’s completely over-the-top and not something that would ever happen in real life, so the absurdity of it all makes it funny!  LOL!

Except not.  There are different schools of opinion about how harmful this is, how much retribution he should face, and how much time we should even spend talking about it.  Me?  I’m mostly disappointed to see this side of a performer I enjoy so much on 30 Rock (hence the “dammit (janet)” tag).  But Morgan’s apology is what interested me the most:

“I want to apologize to my fans and the gay & lesbian community for my choice of words at my recent stand-up act in Nashville. I’m not a hateful person and don’t condone any kind of violence against others. While I am an equal opportunity jokester, and my friends know what is in my heart, even in a comedy club this clearly went too far and was not funny in any context.”

Sigh.

I’ve heard the “equal opportunity jokester/offender” defense before.  I’ve used it myself.  That was before I started thinking more carefully about how I and others use comedy.  It’s really quite simple and easy to say, “Either everything’s a fair target for humor, or NOTHING IS,” and I used to live by that rule.  Now, I believe that comedy and the debate over “fair targets for humor” is a lot more complex and nuanced than a simple all-or-nothing, black-and-white rule.

But I’ll talk more about those nuances at another time.  Right now, my eyes are still pointed to the top of my head.  See, when I heard Morgan’s apology, my eyes rolled so hard that they got stuck.

“I’m an equal opportunity jokester/offender.”  I’m still amused at how many comedians, how many people, use that excuse and think they’re being oh-so-clever and “edgy” – or even better, egalitarian.  (Martin Luther King, Jr. would be so proud; that’s TOTALLY what he was talking about in his “I Have a Dream” speech.)  They make jokes that rely on tired stereotypes and cliches and then claim to be edgy and original, and then they defend themselves by pretending to be “equal opportunity jokesters.”

Well, equal opportunity jokesters, I have news for you.  You likely have many friends and fans who appreciate you for “telling it like it is!” (e.g. “repeating the same stereotyped shit that’s so old it’s practically fossilized”), but there are others, like me, who are not impressed.

You want to know why?

Every time I see or hear you make a “joke” like this, I no longer see your face.  I no longer hear your voice.  You cease to exist to me as an individual.  Your individual personhood vanishes before my eyes, and all I see in front of me is a third grader who squints hir eyes, flops hir hand, beats said hand against hir chest and makes a “DUHHH” sound in a crude impersonation of someone who has a disability.

Basically, you’re no more original than the kids on the playground who made fun of the retards.

How does that feel?

Or hey – maybe I just don’t get your sophisticated humor.  Tell me another gay joke – one I haven’t heard before.  I bet it’s hilarious.

Ding, Dong, The Terrorist is Dead.

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It’s very rare of me to make three posts in one day, but I couldn’t NOT comment on the fact that Osama bin Laden is reportedly dead.

It is truly a wondrous occasion when such a sick, evil, immoral excuse for a human being is dead.

But my first thought upon hearing this news was, “I wonder what Osama’s version of ‘Candle in the Wind’ would sound like?”

Goodbye Osama B
Though I never knew you at all
You were the evil mastermind
That tried to kill us all…

And then I thought, “I bet right now, Al Qaeda is putting together a video montage of their fondest memories of Osama, set to Sarah McLachlan’s ‘I Will Remember You.’  And it’s in slow motion.”

These were my FIRST thoughts upon hearing the news.  My. FIRST. Thoughts.

Yeah.  I think I should, perhaps, stop suggesting that others be more sensitive in their topics for comedy, since I clearly am one sick, twisted fuck who needs to get myself sterilized. 

Molestation Jokes are Hi-LARIOUS, Part 2

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I started this blog because I’m always trying to find a balance between the two dominant parts of my personality: the part that loves gallows humor and making jokes about inappropriate subjects, and the part that believes sensitive subjects deserve to be treated with seriousness and empathy.

I recently wrote about a disappointing episode of Community that included a storyline about a character that lied about being molested as a child in order to impress a woman and the people in his acting class.  A poster left this comment in response:

“…I found Troy’s plot stupid and standard sitcom, though not actively offensive. I never really connected to it to the doubts thrown up at real-life rape survivors, and thinking about it now, I don’t feel that it. Even what I consider a funny version of the same joke (a throwaway bit in The Office a few years ago) doesn’t make me feel that rape is anything but underreported and that the system makes it very difficult for victims for to be believed, let alone get justice. And I feel uncomfortable with the argument that other people will feel persuaded, or that it’ll give aid and comfort to those who enjoy and benefit from that difficulty.”

To which I say: Yes.  And No.

There are plenty of ignorant fuckwits in this world that will misinterpret an author’s intent or misappropriate a text for their own nefarious purposes.  There’s no arguing that.  At the same time, I do think writers have a moral responsibility to consider how their work contributes to the culture and social consciousness.

To explain further, I’m going to do a little compare and contrast exercise using the latest episode of Community and an episode of a different television show that included a similar plot, but one that I did not find offensive.  This was an episode of South Park.

Yes, South Park.  Bear with me. Continue reading →